is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize