My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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