I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone says I win the strip club
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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