i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
