I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
