And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
