I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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