weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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