next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
