I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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