Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
