How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
