She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
