I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
