no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
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