It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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