Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
