hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
