I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
