that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
