I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
