One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
