I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
