Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
