WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
