i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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