I must be too annoying 4 u.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
