I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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