Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
