Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize