I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize