Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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