so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
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the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
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I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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