He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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