we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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