I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
We're too hungover to prance.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
