I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
