uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
