i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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