He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
