How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize