Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
