Plan B is the new Plan A
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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