Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
