too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
