the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
it hurts more in the daytime
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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