Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
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Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
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Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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