Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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