"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
