If i come over, it means nothing
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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