Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
