Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
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