It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
