Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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