Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
