proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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