I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
