oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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