Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
