I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
