The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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