i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
